Trust is for fools
by Leoceu
Summary: If anyone had asked Dean Winchester if he saw his brother growing up, he would answer "Of curse, he never left my side." But when Sam finally reveals to Dean one of the many secrets he have. Dean doesn't believe him, and He thinks that Sam's just confuse.
1. Chapter 1

He was fourteen years old when he realized there was something really wrong with him. Well, if he thought about it, not every kid had a gun in his draw, or slept with a knife under his pillow. So yeah, he was messed up, his all family was.

He didn't hold any grudges over his father for making them live in this way. Everyone knew he didn't have a choice, and if he had, he wouldn't choose a road full of Demons for his life, he didn't wish that to anyone, not even to his worst enemy. He understood his father, just a little bit. Of course there were times he couldn't take it anymore, sometimes he yelled at his father, saying useless words that only hurt more than did any good.

He remembers telling him once, that this had nothing to do with him and his brother, that this was his revenge and obsession and he had nothing to do with it. And he shouldn't be wasting time hunting this Demon, because in the end, they were chasing their own death.

The voice of his dad made his own look smaller. And he heard his father saying, that this Demon had killed their mother, if they didn't kill the damn thing, more people would die. And if there was even a very small possibility to kill it, they were going to use it. So from him to grow up and be a man, because now wasn't the time for dreaming of a perfect and bright life. There's always darkness in any corner, and if he chooses to ignore it, for him to go ahead, because he was a coward and that would get him killed one day.

He did understand, it couldn't be easy to lose the one you love. The problem was he did never knew their mother. He wanted to cry and say that he wanted her back, that he loved her above all else, that he wanted to see her again. The problem was he didn't. He didn't know her, and he was sure if he saw her again, for him, she was only going to be a picture of the mother he never had. There was a time that he said he missed her, but that was because she was possibly the only road that could have lead them into a more normal life. It didn't make any sense but he wanted back the normal life that he never had.

His dad never talked about their mother, everything he knew was from Dean stories. His brother loved her so much that sometimes he was jealous for not being able to. But thanks to Dean he started to be able to know their mother better. He saw how Dean was hurt because of her death, and he knew how affected his dad was, and sometimes he was sad, and angry.

How could his mother be so stupid? How couldn't she see how deeply missed she would be? How important she was. Why did she save him? He knew that sometimes he blamed his father for this life, but then he realized that this was his own fault. He knew it, he didn't have any right to be angry. Because if he was death instead of his mother, they all would have been much happier, he was ten years old when he realized this fact, and if he ever thought lying could hurt people, at that moment he understood that the true could hurt much more. And that was the first time he really cried over his mother death, not because he miss her, not because he wanted to see her, but because he wanted to change places with her, to make the ones he really loved to be happy again. That night he prayed, he prayed that Dean never had to talk about their mother with anguish in his voice again, he prayed that his dad never had to pull a trigger again, and most of all he prayed that he could simply disappear to make things alright again.

Of curse, neither the heavens were on his side. He had to survive with his own faults. But Before anything, he promised that he would never pray again as long as he lived.

He tried to be the perfect child, he stopped arguing with his father even when he thought he was wrong. He was never has good has Dean, but he tried. His father was angry sometimes when he missed a shot, or was careless because he thought the monster was already dead when it wasn't, and that sucked, because he had to hear his father giving him a lecture when he was on a bed with a broken arm. But he didn't move, he just laid there quietly, didn't say nothing, he has only heard what his dad had to say, because at that moment, at that moment he was a good son.

He hated his boring routines, he hated the motels, he hated monsters, ghosts, and god forgives him but he hated their food. The only thing that made him smile was his brother. Dean could really be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he was the reason he keeps on going. He knew that his brother would do almost anything for him, but then again he would do the same. He couldn't even count how many times Dean had saved him, and how easily he pulled him from his darkest thoughts without even realizing it. He didn't want to put the possibility that maybe Dean only cared about him because their father told Dean to watch over him. He put that thought deep inside his head and he told himself he was going to trust Dean. It Didn't matter that maybe he didn't care at all, because he gave him his trust.

And when he finally turned fourteen years old, all hell broke loose. He started to feel things that he normally didn't, and he did the only thing that he could think about... He panicked! 


	2. Fourteen

Sam, fourteen

"You should get a girlfriend."

Dean was already eighteen, and he already had all the ladies hearts. Sometimes he teased Sam by saying that he should get a girl. And he just took it has a joke, because in the end it was one. But Dean wasn't a person that easy to figure it out. So, when they were on a couch watching a random movie, with their Dad out on a hunt, and his brother brings this question with a serious face. He just doesn't know what to answer.

"Well, not really a girlfriend. Because we are always moving... But you know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't."

"Come one Sam, I was your age when I did it for the first time. And I'm not saying you have to. Just trying to say that is normal to have needs."

"Can't we just watch the movie?" Sam sigh. Apparently Dean wasn't going to let this one go, because he was putting the movie in mute. If you think about it was kind of funny, because normally Dean was always the one who didn't want to talk.

"No, we need to talk about this Sammy."

"why?"

"Because you need to know that it's a normal thing."

"Dean?"

Sam didn't buy it, there was something more going on here.

"Well... I kinda... I was watching a really lame show, and at a point there was a woman, I think she was a therapist, no idea. Anyway, the woman said that all the younger boys around thirteen to fifteen needed to have (the talk) with their parents for being able to understand what is happening to themselves. No way in hell was dad going to do it, so I just thought maybe I could help."

"I'm not going to talk with you about this."

"Sam it's not like we never talk about it, the only difference is that this time his about you.

"Big difference."

Sam was reaching for the remote when Dean was faster then him and put it far away from his reach.

"Ok, lets go for the beginning shall we?"

Dean had a grin on his face, Sam just rolled his eyes, Dean was enjoying this too much for his own good.

"So, did you ever had a feeling, like when you saw a girl you felt a shiver or thought, damn it I want to know her?"

Shiver? The only way that he felt shivers was when it was freaking cold. Well, he also felt sometimes a shiver in his back, when he thought that maybe Dean was going to be disappointed, or mad at him. The thought of wanting to know Dean was always in his mind, because everyday he realized that he still didn't know his brother a 100 %. And everyday he wanted to know more. But passing by a girl and thought "I must talk to her" no, that never happened before

"Shiver, in a good way no" Sam felt his brother eyes on him, but he didn't look at him, he didn't care because there was no way he was going to have this conversation eye to eye with his brother, and it seemed that Dean really didn't mind.

"Not a thing? It doesn't have to be a shiver it can be anything, like when you feel a knot in your stomach"

"I feel that all the time." This time Sam looked at him, with a face that say (that is just normal), but by the looks of dean, it seems that it wasn't.

"I'm not talking here about stomach aches. And also not revering about the hunts, being nervous before a hunt it's normal."

"Dean, we are talking about people here, right? So, when you ask me a question, I answer what I feel about the people, not how I feel about hunts or ghosts." He was kinda upset for Dean to think that he didn't even know what they were talking about.

"Ok... All the time? Really?"

"Isn't that normal?" The way Dean made that question just made him confused

"No, no, It is normal. I was just kind of surprised, normally when you feel that, it's not all the time, especially not with random girls coming and going... This is not coming right, What I'm trying to say here, is sometimes a person feels attracted to another and feel that knot in his stomach. Time passes he find some girls, that give him a good time, but most of them don't give him that shiver that feeling, do you understand what I'm saying? We are always traveling, so we see what? 100 of girls in one day? Do you feel that knot in your stomach with all of them?"

Sam looked at him in shocked, before saying.

"Who the hell told you that every time meet every girl?"

This time was Dean turn to be shocked.

"What? Just one?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean a thing, because that's just normal."

If Dean thought about it, they were in this city and house over four months now, that was a long time for them, Sam was in this school longer than usual, so, maybe it was only normal for Sam to have a crush. Maybe it was best saying to his little brother for not getting his hopes too high, because they would leave soon or later. But then again Sam didn't even seem to realize it. Maybe it was better to make sure of this.

"What do you feel?"

"What do you mean? What do I feel about what?"

"About the one who makes you feel Butterflies." Dean laughed at his own words, he was teasing a little bit, but Sam was looking at the floor like his thoughts was on fire, and Dean automatically stoped laughing.

"Before anything, What's her name?" Dean thought it was better distract his brother a little bit, or he would get himself on fire to thinking so much.

Sam smiled a little bit at the ridiculous of the question. Wasn't it obvious that he was talking about Dean

"Let's call that person Deana." He laughed a bit, the thought that his brother believed he liked someone was funny. But there was something he didn't really understood, maybe he could really use this change to find out. He started to talk wail his eyes drift to deans hands, because suddenly it was to much to look at him.

"Actually, I don't have a clue, I know I always had stomach knot when I was around that person, but then again I always had, so, that is just normal. I don't know, I feel tense when yo... She is not around, but when I can see her again I just feel really relieved. Relieved that she is alive. I felt happy has hell when she talks to me like I mean a thing...It's funny because sometimes we don't say anything at all and I think 'this is right' I feel more peaceful around her than I ever would then be myself. And then she talks, she asks something really random, and somehow I felt suddenly nervous, I ask myself 'why? ' It's stupid there is no reason for me to feel nervous, but I do, I'm soundly afraid to say anything at all, and the damn answer is just a yes or no, so why can't I speak. But then, like she always does, she saves me for my own thoughts and just make a silly comment, And suddenly it's like I can speak again, and I'm answering and laughing. Because, damn no one makes me laughed like she does."

Dean can't take his eyes of Sam, he doesn't even move. He just thinks he is only fourteen How can he feel so much? Sam goes silent for a minute, and look directed at him. Dean suddenly feels a little shiver, and he would have laughed, but he realizes he can't move with Sam eyes piercing him, like he he's trying to see something. And then, finally, Sam breaks the silence of the room, and in a low voice he says.

"I never saw eyes more beautiful. I don't think there is anyone who can make my heart beat so fast. Also there is no one who can make me feel so sad... When h... she is sad, I feel so useless, it kills me. I should be able to make her feel happy like she does to me. But no, I just stand there, not saying a word, it's pathetic." The last word comes out rougher than he intended, but he continued.

"When she is mad at me or sad about something I said, I swear I can see my hart falling to the ground. And damned if that doesn't make me more confused... I don't understand... I really don't. I never felt like this. I thought maybe I shouldn't think about it, damn it Dean I feel like I'm in the roller coaster of feeling that I can't get out off...Dean Help me."

Dean can see the watery eyes of Sam, and that really breaks his heart. Sammy, his Sammy is asking him to help, and he doesn't know what do to.

"You are only 14" He said in low and shaky tone, like that was the answer for all the problems. Dean regret his words has soon has he said it.

Sam looks at him with a little bit of shock, like that wasn't what he was waiting to hear, and suddenly his tears are running in his face.

"Shit" Sam says wail trying to stop his tears with the help of his sleeve. If this was a normal day, Dean would had given him a little punch in the arm while saying ' watch your mouth'. But Sam was right in front of him breaking apart, he didn't had seen his brother crying like this in a long time. And without any thought he craped Sam's arm and pulled Sam into his embrace, wail hugging him with his strong arms, like he was protecting his brother from something evil that was outside. Sam craped his shirt really hard and started sobbing. Dean was now running his hand in Sam hair and whispered into his ear.

"Shhh, It's ok, everything he's going to be ok Sammy"

"I d...don't get it... Why?... do... I ...fe...feel...li...ke this?"

It was hard for Dean to answer, because not even he had ever felt like that towards someone. Hell, it's difficult to see his brother, that has only 14 years old, having so much love to give, and yet they had to leave. They always had. Would Sam, in the future find someone he could love without problems? Being able to be himself? Sam shouldn't have to live this life, he didn't deserve it. And if Dean could, he would do anything to give Sam a normal life.

"It's ok Sammy, it isn't a bad thing. You're in love" It was the truth, if Sam had said it to him before, he would have joked about it, he would have said that it was only a crush. But he knew that this was no crush. Sam pushed himself a little form Dean embrace, just the little he needed to be able to look at his brother eyes. Dean was still with his arm around Sam, but he took his hand from Sam hair and cleaned some tears with his temp. Sam let him close his eye for a second.

"I'm... i... in Love with you?" Sam was a little confused, yeah, he loved his brother, but he never thought he was in love with his brother.

Dean gave him a really gentle smile.

"No Sammy. Not in that way. You love me like family loves family. Like brother loves brother. Like I love you. The things you feel, people don't feel toward family. Your feelings are from loving someone, and it's not in a family way."

A sob escapes his mouth, he hates to cry, he really does, he was trying to stop it, but it made it worse, it was hard to breath. He took his hands off Dean shirt. Ignoring his brother hand on his face, Sam rested his forehead on Deans shoulder, putting his arms around his brother waist and craping the back of his shirt.

"what's... tthe...difrentes" If Dean wasn't paying really good attention to his brother, he would have missed the words.

"Well... for example, did you ever wanted to kiss dad?" Sam was so shocked that his tears stop.

"Hell no... that's disgusting..." Dean laughed.

"Right? And this... Deana? Did you ever want to walk hand by hand with her? Or even kiss her?" At that moment Sam hugged him a little more, and now it was impossible to get more closer.

"All the time" It was a warm whisper that Dean felt in his neck. It felt good, but his mind didn't even realize that

"See. That's that kind of love."

And Sam that day made another sad realization, he was a freak because he loved his brother. 


	3. Fifteen

Sam fifteen

Time had passed, and everyday that passed he loved his brother even more. Sometimes he wanted to run and yell at some on. He was starting to get angry more easily, and he hated because he was supposed to be a good son. And right now he was all the things but that.

His father and brother didn't seem to know anything about his feeling. So he felt a little relived for that. But He still didn't know what do too. He felt like he needed to talk to someone, but he wasn't ready to tell Dean this, he didn't know how would Dean reacts, and he wasn't Ready to find out. Not yet. Damn it, he was thinking to much, and the thought that he knew that, scared him a little.

-000-

One day his father and Dean left him on Bobby's house to go to a hunt that was to big for Sam.

It was the second day he was there. They were in the yard and he was helping Bobby fixing a car, well, it was more learning then helping.

"Are you ok boy?"

The question got him out of guard. Bobby had his face under the hood of the car and he hasn't even looked at him. But why did he ask? Did he not look ok?

"Yeah. Why?"

Bobby took two steps away from the car holding with one of his dirty hands a wrench.

"Towel"

Sam picks up the towel that was in his right and handed to Bobby, who at the same time give him his wreach for him to put it away.

"You are a terrible liar"

Bobby said wail cleaning his hand on the towel.

Sam just didn't know what to say

"Do you need to talk about anything?"

Could he do this? Could he just tell Bobby? He wished so much to have someone he could talk to. And here was a person offering to listen.

But then again...

"No thanks. I'm fine"

Bobby sight. He threw the towel to the tope of the car. He got himself in front of Sam and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"I can see that something is making you worried in that little head of yours. You know, whatever it is, I won't be mad, I will just listen, Ok? You and Dean are like sons to me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you boys."

That was true. Bobby cared about them. And if he told him maybe he would understand, Hell if Bobby didn't no one would. He could trust the Old hunter with his secret. It was now or never, right? ... But what if Bobby started to ha... Bobby interrupted his thoughts when he started to talk.

"And even if I didn't realize that something was wrong I still would know. Because Dean came to me to ask if I could help him finding out what was wrong with you. Never saw the boy so worried."

What? Did Dean suspect anything? If he said anything at all would Bobby go and say it to Dean... He high doubt it.

"So, son. Do you want to talk?"

He could see the worry and the love in Bobby's eyes. And right there he knew he really was like a son to the old man He didn't know what to do... Maybe he really could talk to Bobby. Maybe the hunter would help him... Well, He could hoped. What could he Loss?

"It's... it's just... I"

"You're mumbling Sammy"

"It's Sam. And I'm not mumbling... I just don't know how to say it."

"Just take a Deep breath and say it"

Well, it was impossible to be more tensed. So, he did what he was told, he took a long breath and said it.

"I'm in Love with Dean"

He just closed his eyes, he didn't know what he would see in the old hunter face, and that scared him a little. But at the same time he fell The weight he had on his shoulders disappeared. Finally he had said it out loud. There was a really long silence. Soundly he felt Bobby hand Leaving his shoulder. And if he thought it was impossible to tense more then before, he did. And the relived he just had, was now long Forgotten has he opened his eyes.

"Love? Are we talking about love? Just love or... Love?"

"Not brotherly love... More like... Romantic Love."

Damn it, why didn't he just shut up. Why didn't he lie. Then again not even at that he was good at.

"How long?"

Sam was trying to find that worry and love that Boobby had just shown him minutes ago. And he felt stupid when he just found confusion and disgust. What was he hoping for?

"How long?" He could hear the angry rising in his voice

"One year and some months by now" ~

"So, by now you are damn sure?"

"Yeah" What could he even say.

Bobby grabbed him by the shoulder with his two hands. And started to shake him up

"You hear me, and you hear me well boy. That... That feeling that you have are disgusting, it's ill and wrong it makes me nauseous just to think about it. It's sick, do you hear me? What do you think Dean would say? He would never look at you again. He would freak out. He would be so disgusted by it and disappointed."

Sam could feel his tears in the back of his eyes. Booby was grabbing him more the necessary, it hurt and he was sure that it was going to leave bruises. But he wasn't going to cry, he refused to do it.

"What can I do?"

Bobby was pale has Sam never saw him, if a person saw him they would say that he looked like he had seen a ghost. The problem was, not even ghosts made him so pale.

"You know what? You are going to take all that crap and you are going to bury it. You are going to forget about it. Because that's how we Keep on going, that's how you will keep on going. Do you fucking understand? You are going to stop this bullshit. You will not Love Him in that way."

Sam never had hear the angry and fury of Bobby voice directed at him. And that made it hard to think. He knew it was wrong, but sometimes is Hart was more loud and told him that it was right. Was he strong enough to forget all of his feelings?

"I can't Bobby. I Love him"

And Bobby answer was loud and clear, because suddenly he was on the ground, he would never thought that Bobby could punch him. He could feel Something dripping out of his mouth and he didn't even had to look at it do know it was blood. His damn face hurt like hell, he could feel the cut inside is mouth, and he had a feeling that he broke some tooth, because it hurt more than it should.

"Damn it Boy... Don't you see it... You can go to HELL BECUSE OF THIS. It's messed up, and is freaking sick.."

He tried to push himself off the ground. His face was watery. He was fucking crying. But he didn't care any more. With the strange he didn't have and with the rest of the air he had in is lungs he shouted with his broken voice.

"HELL? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGHT! If you case didn't notice we are all going to hell... I'm trying to catch the only think that makes me happy. And I'm a FREK AND A MONSTER because of it? THE HELL WITH THAT... Beat me all you want, beat me until I can't think anymore, until I have no more Feelings. You would FUKING TO ME A FAVOR."

It took more then a hand full of demons to make a Bobby loss his control. But here it was a kid doing it. Sam was still on the ground when he Felt a kick in is stomach that made him fly. He felt his back hitting the car, and he could hear a crack. He was sure that it came from him, just great, he had broken something. When more kicks come, the only reaction he had was protecting his head with his arms. He didn't have the strength to fight. But why would he? He was the one who ask for it. He was the one who told Bobby to do it, he was the one who was a freak.

"Selfish...Freak...Sick...disgusting...Selfish...Selfish."

Selfish? Why?

Suddenly it stopped, His all body hurt more than it ever had, and he was barely conscious, but he could not feel any more kicks.

Bobby finally had calmed down, and now he could think again. He looked at Sam like it was the first time. He was disgusted, but now it wasn't Because of Sam. How could he have beat up the kid? He was shocked with himself. And when he looked at the mess he made, he finally saw it. He saw Sam pain, the pain he held inside of him from caring a secret to big, the need to talk to someone. He was going to be sick... But instead he just started to cry.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I... I'm Sorry kido. I don't get it... How do you make it through the day without killing yourself?"

Sam Hasn't heard the apology, nor did he hear Bobby's cry, the last thinks he heard was 'through the day without killing yourself? ' and he Didn't even had time to understand what that mean before falling into the darkness.

Bobby kneeled in front of Sam and took him in his arms gently to put him in the trunk. He needed to get the kid to the hospital now. He Didn't know what he was going to say to them, or what he would say to Dean and John. But there was no time to lose, and he could think about something in his way.

-000-

"Sammy, Sammy. Wake up Sammy, you can do it"

He knew that voice too well. That was the voice of the man he cared more the he cared about himself. He tried to open his eyes, but they were too heavy.

"Come on Sammy, open your eyes for me... I'm here... Not going anywhere... ever again"

He tried again, but when he opens them a little the light was too strong, so in a reflex he turned his head the other way, only to find out that his necked hurt like hell. He felt someone squeezing his hand.

"I know, it must hurt... Try again Sammy, please just try one more time. You can do it"

So he did. It took some time for him to focus and really see his brother.

"Dean?"

"Yup, who were you expecting?"

Dean was laughing a little, and he had a smile on his face that showed relived.

Sam looked at his brother, really looked. Dean stopped laughing and stared back at him. Sam tried to smile, his brother hand was still on His. So, this time was him who squeeze it. It was away from him to say Don't worry, I'm a big boy now, I'm alright And the message must have gone through, because Dean gave him a little smile. But the smile disappeared and he was looking at their hands wail he said.

"Damn it Sammy... Don't ever do this again. I thought I was going to die from worry."

Sam saw the dark circles on Dean's eyes. How his hair was all messed up and how tired he looked.

"You look like crap" His mouth was too dry, and his voice didn't seem to be his. But right know I didn't give a damn.

Dean laughed, really laughed.

"I can't believe you. A person his here worried sick about you, and you don't know a better think to say?"

"I'm worried to" Dean stoped laughing and just smiled.

"Well, don't be... I just look like crap, because apparently if you are healthy, and if you stay in a hospital three days in a row, you Become ill too. How stupid is that?"

"What?" Three days? Oh God... How could he had forgotten his fight with Bobby. Did he say anything to Dean? No, if he had Dean wouldn't Have been here, worried... But why did he bring him to the hospital in the first place?

"Sam are you ok?" Sam looked at Dean, and he could see the confused look he had on his face.

"What happened?" Sam asked. It wasn't like he didn't know, it was a question to know what Dean knew.

"You don't remember? ... Well...Apparently, you went downtown alone to buy something. When Bobby thought you were taking too long he went to See if you were alright... He didn't see you at the store, so he looked for you... He found you in an dark alley being beaten up by a bunch of older Kids. He made them leave and he brought you to the hospital. When you were here he gave us a call... I was kind of hoping to hear yours Version of the story... Is it true?"

Now his brother thought he was week. Well, he was better then thinking he was a freak.

"Damn it, it is embarrassing..." before he could cuntinue, he started coughing.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. The nurse said that when you wake up, you would need to drink something. Or it would be hard for you to talk."

He pushed himself from the chair, taking his hand off his brother, leaving Sam's hand still warm. Holding the jar that was on the table next to Sam bed, he filled the Glass that was empty.

"Here. Can you sit up?"

Sam just looked at him.

"Ok, ok, let me see how this works" Dean was searching for something around Sam bed.

"Found it" He held a remote in his hand, and click some button. Sam's bed started to move, until Dean clicked another button and it stoped

"Know you are sitting. Well, almost . And you haven't even moved. How cool his that?"

Sam tried to reach for the glass that was still in Dean's left hand. His brother understood and gave it to him.

"I would give you a straw, but I don't know where they are. And I won't go out there just to ask, because I don't want you to become spoiled"

Of curse, he just didn't want to leave Sam alone. He didn't have to say it, because they both knew it.

Sam drank all he could, he felt the pain in his arm by just moving it, but then again All his body hurt. This was nothing. He would survive.

After Sam drinking what he could, Dean put the glass again in the table, and seated again on the chair that he came to hate so much. The chair just wasn't made to be sited on.

"I told Bobby I wanted a book that they were selling at the store... I went there and buy the book and some more items Booby had asked... When I was going back to the house...There was this kid... I think he had your age... Anyway it was only one... Bobby must have said a Bunch for me to still have my pride..."

He was sure that if he told Dean something different from Bobby story he would concerted on that and not in the lying itself.

"Well, he asked for my wallet. And I just told him that he was a delinquent, that didn't understood himself, and because of that he need to pretend to look tough, and what better way then stealing younger people wallets. So, basically I told him he was a fraud and if it wasn't. Then the reason for him to do that, was because he was a really poor and low person."

And this was the first time Sam had tried to lie to his brother. And he felt like shit.

Dean had his mouth a little bit open. Until he came back to himself. He looked at Sam like he was searching for something, when he didn't Find anything, he said.

"Oh god Sam. You don't say that to a person who he's trying to steal you. Come on you know this, when you see someone or something that you Know you can't beat, you make up a plane. Or you run for it. In this case I would have chosen the last one... Do you know what could have happened if Bobby didn't show up? The guy could have... He could have killed you Sammy... And how was I supposed to live with that"

"Don't make that big of a deal"

"It's a Big Deal... Damn it, we will talk about this when we leave the hospital... I fucking want to kill the guy right now. What did he looked like?"

"I didn't see him that well... And by the way where his Dad and Bobby?"

Dean was angry, he wanted to punch something, or in this case someone. But he couldn't find a kid only knowing his age. Well, he could try...

"Dad and Bobby, I totally forgot about them. Since they can't come in because it isn't visitor hour, they must be outside waiting for news."

"How come you are in here then?" Only Dean could come in?

Well this was the closest has heaven he did get.

"Well, you know me. No one survives to my charms. And since there are many nurses here, it was a piece of cake." Dean was smiling like he was a proud of himself.

"Well, tomorrow I need to thanks Bobby for saving me, and apologies to Dad for making him worried"

"What about me?" Dean asked pretending to be sad

"What about you?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows

"Well I need some love to, don't you think?"

Sam just didn't know if he should laugh or cry about that

"Thank you Dean. For everything. For caring, taking care of me, for worrying and for being the best brother in all worlds" And that was the truth

"Your welcome" Dean grinned, and Sam just laughs, and then Dean started to laugh with him.

-000-

The next day, Dad, Bobby and Dean were in his hospital room.

He told the story how he had been beaten up again. He thanked Bobby for helping him, the old hunter just gave him a sad smile. He apologizes to Dad for making him worry, and he just heard a lecture for him not being careful enough. The same one that Dean wanted to give him, but Didn't, because had thought that it wasn't the best place or time. And he didn't say anything to Dean. Neither did Dean say anything. His Brother only gived him a smile of understanding the all time. And Sam really appreciated.

A person learns from their mistakes, right? So, here was him having another life lesson. He was never going to hope for anything in his Live. He would never wish for anything again. And he could lie has well has birds could fly. It seemed that if he really tried, everyone Believe him no matter what. He felt so fake, that he really wanted someone to look at him and say 'You are lying Sam' and he could answer 'Yes I'm' and maybe all these would be finished. Because really, at this point he really didn't give a damn. 


	4. Sixteen

Sam sixteen

They came to do a really fast hunt. They were supposed to send the thing back to hell and leave. But things got a little out of control.

Dean was trying to protect a young girl wail his dad distracted the Demon, for Sam to be able to read the Latin words. It was more Hard because they didn't have any Demon trap set. When the demon realized where the pain he was feeling came from, he threw their father to the wall and tried to attacked Sam. But before he had a change Dean was already there in front of him protecting him.

He just kept on reading. The problem was when the thing just smiled and went running to the little girl. When Dean realized it he run has fast has he could to save her. But the Demon was faster and killed the girl in the spot, just has Sam was ending his reading. The black smoke came out of the young mans body that the Demon was possessing. And the man just felt right beside the girl, already death has well.

On the way to the hotel, none of them said a word, they were tired, and the taste of failure was still with them.

So, when Dean told them he was going to the bar he had seen in the way, Sam tried to stop him. It wasn't like Dean didn't do it all the time after a hunt. He normally would go and only came back the next day smelling of alcohol and Sex. And Sam hated. But this time he really thought was better for Dean not to leave. He could see how he was for not being able to save the girl. And he wanted To talk to his brother about it.

"Come on, Dean let's talk about this... Then you can go and to whatever you feel like doing"

Dean was already at the door. "Not now Sam." Opening the door he said "Don't wait for me."

And the door closed behind him. And Sam was stenting there in The middle of the motel staring at the door like he was waiting to open again. He knew he wouldn't, when he heard the sound of the Impala leaving.

"Why haven't you said anything?"

Sam asked looking at his father, like he was the one at fault for Dean leaving. He knew it wasn't but he also knew that if he had said to Dean not to go he wouldn't have.

"Sam, he always does this. Let him be, he is twenty years old, he needs his space."

"I know... it's just..." He just wanted to be the one that Dean talk to if he need to.

"Eat your diner Sam, and go to bed. We had a long Day, we need to rest."

It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. So, he just did what he was told, even if he thought that Dean was the one who needed to rest the must.

It was 3 a.m. and he couldn't sleep. He had a feeling he shouldn't be in his bed wail Dean was out there. It killed him when Dean was away, and he wanted to leave and go find him. But at the same time he knew it was better for him to stay, because he could do something he would regret later. Maybe He was just having another good time with some random girl and Sam wouldn't even Find him at the bar anymore. After half an hour later Sam made his decision.

He was already out of the bed trying to dress up without making any noise.

"Where do you think you are going?"

He was sure that he didn't had made any noise, but then again this was his father.

"Just going into a walk"

"It's almost four in the morning, and you tell me you're going to a walk"

His Dad was still in the bed when he opened the light that was on the Bedside table.

"You now he isn't there anymore. Right?" His father looked a little pissed for being waked up in the middle of the night

"Yeah, I know" He continued to put his shoes on

"The bar is like three miles from here... Are you planing on walking?"

"It will calm me down" He took his bag that was on top of the table and walk to the door.

"He needs his space... I'm too tired to stop you, do what you want. Just don't forget to take your gun with you."

His father closed the light and rolled to the other side. Sam opened the door and left the motel.

-000-

The night had a fresh air that Sam liked. He didn't really knew if he would need his bag. But in their line of work a person never knows what can happen. He walked until he didn't see the motel anymore. He liked to walk, he made him relax, feeling the small breeze on his face, Like there was nothing wrong going on in the world. It didn't take long for him to arrive, in a half hour he was seeing the bar. It was almost 5 a.m., and a person could see that the bar was still open and very alive.

When he saw the impala parking in front of the bar, he let out a short breath, that he didn't know he was holding.

He entered the bar, and immediately he was attacked by the smell of alcohol and smoke. He hated places like this, and he couldn't see what Dean like about it so much. He looked around to see if saw his brother. But suddenly a Woman put herself in front of him blocking his view.

"Hello cutie, what brings you around here?"

She was older than Sam, he would say, she had at least twenty one or twenty two years old.

"Business" Sam tried to walk around her when she stepped in front of him again.

"How sweet, what type of business can a boy of your age have in this establishment" The woman said with a smile to big for her

"Well, sorry, what I really meant to say was 'It's non of your Business', Now if you excuse me"

He walked around her leaving her behind him Mumbling something, that he really didn't care. Was this the type of woman Dean came to spend the night with? Well, that hurt.

He walked to the inside of the bar. There were people staring at him like he didn't belong there at all. He looked at the balcony where some people were sitting. Then he finally saw his brother. He was at the end of the bar in a place that was a bit too dark. He came closer, and without saying anything, he seated next to Dean.

He had a glass in his hand, and he dragged it all at once before looking at Sam.

"Hey Sammy, nice to see that you finally want to have some fun whit your brother"

Dean was giggle and smiling like a fool. Dean was drunk... Not his normally drunk that Sam was used seeing. This time he was really out of it. Dean was giggling, and that was just Wrong.

"Come on let's get out of here"

"Sam your spoiling the fun here man... The night has just begun"

Sam was already out of his seat. He grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him off the chair. And for his own surprise it was easier than he thought it would be. He seemed to be having some trouble in standing.

"Now you're just being mean... I want my Jack Daniels" Dean said trying to do the puppet eyes that Sam usually did

"That doesn't work"

Sam was basically dragging him through the bar.

"Slow Down... The bar is spinning..." Sam put an arm around his waist for his brother not to fall.

"How damn much did you drink?" Sam was getting impatient, the bar wasn't that big, but they were taking an eternity to get to the door.

"Lost count after the first bottle Dad" Dean was laughing hysterically like it was the best joke ever.

When they were finally out of the bar, Sam smiled, finally there was pure air entering his lungs again. For a second he didn't know what do to. Dean driving wasn't even a option, walking wasn't the best idea either.

His brother was starting to get heavier and heavier. First he would put him on the impala, then he would thing what do to next, so far it seemed a good plan.

He was trying to hold his brother, while opening the door of the car.

"Aren't you too tall for your age?"

Sam ignored him

"Your hair is funny" Dean said while playing with Sam's hair with his hand

And at last he had opened the door

"Get in the car Dean" He said has he tried to help him

"Do I have too?" Dean looked like a child who didn't want to go home.

"Yeah, you do" Sam was beginning to be tired of drunk Dean

Dean got in the back seat of the impala, and when Sam was about to get out and close the door Dean grabbed his hand and pushed him inside of the car. In a minute he was stating, and in the other He was falling on top of Dean.

Dean laughed and closed the door. Sam looked at the door and then back at Dean. This could not be happening, he started to panic. The laughters of his brother got even more loud, and he felt the urge to just punch him. But his thoughts just went blank when is brother pushed him to the seat and put himself on tope of him.

"Just chill Sammy"

He laughed a little and grinned. Sam had his eyes wide open, and he could hear his head screaming

Dangerus, Dangerus... DANGERUS

He tried to shove Dean away, he was to close. But Dean just used his body weight, in a way that Sam couldn't move, and now he was even more close, he could feel his brothers body to well agains his.

"Seriulsy Sam... You will become a old man if you dond't" This time he just smield.

Sam was trying to compose himself. He was sure that Dean could hear his heart beting like crazy. He was starting to think he would have a heartatack right there.

"Your fucking drunk"

"Don't you say..." Dean had now a face that only showed hurt. "That's the whole idea of drinking in the first place" "I'm...I'm just fuking tired of this... Hunting, killing, what's the point if I can't even save one girl?"

That showed something, Dean would never said that if he was in his right maind.

"Do you regred it?"

Some how, for a minute, he could predent that he didn't had Dean on tope of him.

"What?"

"Do you regret not being able to saved her?" Dean just stered at him for a wail, before saying

"Of curse I do"

"So, you regret having saved me... Becuse if you didn't she would be alive"

"What? of curse not...Is that what you are thinking?"

Sam didn't awesered

"God Sammy, that's not it at all. It's two diferent things... I should have been abel to save the boht of you"

Would his brother had ever trusted him with this conversation if he was sober? Hurted a littel bit knowing that He wouldn't. He rested his hand on Dean's cheek and said

"You can't save evrybody Dean. That's just how life is. You do something, or you don't to it, either way, your going to suffer the consecuences... What you relly can do is keep on fighting. Fight until you are the stronger person alive. Fight until you relly can save evrybody."

Their was a minut of silence until Dean said

"Wasn't I supusse do be the big brother here?"

Sam smieled.

"Thanks Sammy"

Dean face was to close to his own. He could hear and feel the breathing of his brother. And he was trying, he was relly trying to win his own fight, but his heart was winning to his mind. He wasn't strong enaught to stay away.

Putting his hand around his neck he pulled his brother to him until they where nose by nose. Dean eyes were no longer green, they were replaced by dark eyes with lust. Both of them where breting like they needed air. Closing his eyes Sam pulled him a litter more close.

And then Sam could feel it, his own lips pressed to Dean's lips. Dean lips satreded to move, and Sam did the same letting himself lost to the sension. He couldn't think anymore.

Suddenly he felt Dean tongue trying to enter his mouth, and he opened a littel more to let him enter, has he tried as well to use his own tongue. It was far from perfect, it was messy and new, and gentel, like he was trying to discover evrything about Dean's mough. He tastes like alcohol, but the best think was, it taste like Dean. And for Sam that was the best first kiss ever.

Dean bited Sam under lip before broking the kiss.

"Sammy?" He souded a littel out off it, but Sam couldn't relly say, becuse some how, he felt he was the one who had drank.

When he was about to say something, Dean kissed him, and this time it was so much deeper, that he let a sound escaped from the back of his throat. Sam at that moment wanted all.

Dean's hand were moving inside of Sam shirt, slowly and each time higher. It was so hot that Sam could die at that moment. Then Dean moved his hips, and Sam let a moan escape him. He moved again and again making pressure in a way that Sam could feel how hard His brother was.

Dean stopped kissing him and started to leave a trail of wet kisses along his neck, wail Sam grabbed his hair.

"Dean" He was said in a needed way, and Dean chose that moment to open Sam jeans with his free hand.

"Wait" But he didn't, and in a second Dean's hand was inside of his boxer grabbing his member.

"Fuck... Dean"

This was too much to take, his whole body was melting, but then Dean stoped, And with his now free hands he was opening his own jeans.

Sam didn't know what do to, He was starting to feel nervous, but at the same time curious, like he wanted more and more. He never felt so, good in is all life before.

Dean lowed his boxers and before Sam realized he was feeling his member against Dean's own, his brother hand was stroking them both. And that was Just unreal. He was trembling and he felt weak and warm at the same time.

"Shit Sammy" His brother voice was rough, and the whole car was filled with moans of Sam and Dean. Kisses were changed, and Sam wanted to engrave in his memory every sound, every movement and every sensation of Dean.

"Damn it, I'm...Dean" Sam closed his eyes has he tried to breath

"Yeah... Me too...Sammy" And in less then a second both of them were coming and making a mess of their t-shirts.

Dean simailed, and put the boxer and the jeans back up, wail Sam did the same. Only then Dean fell in top of Sam again, resting his head on Sam shoulder.

"Sam that was... amaizing" Sam blushed a littel at the comment, he still couln't belived what just happaned.

Dean looked like he was ready to fall a sleep

"Hey, Dean"

"Hmmm?"

"I just... I love you Dean" When there was no awser he tried to serche his face, only to find out that Dean was alredy sleeping.

He didn't cry, but he didn't smile either. He never wished to not know his brother so much. But since he knew, He was pretty sure he was the only one who was going to remember their moment on the next morning.

And then it would be just like waking up from a dream, the only different was that he would still have a Dean taste on is mouth to prove to him it had been real. He was pretty sure that he couldn't take any more pain. Wasn't Bobby who asked him once how did he survived a day without killing himself? Or something like that...

Well, tomorrow he would find that out.

He let himself look at Dean for some minutes before starting cleaning up the evidence. He thanked his own head for remembering to bring his bag. He changed His T-shirt, and tried to clean Dean's own, but he didn't succeed, he didn't worry too much, because he had time to think of something that could explain the dirty shirt.

After doing everything, he went to the front seat of the impala, he wanted to fall asleep with Dean next to him, but he couldn't take the risk. And in his head he didn't know if he wanted Dean to remember or not.

-000-

It was 8 a.m. and he was still wide awake. He couldn't sleep, it was like Dean was sleeping for the two of them.

Someone knocked at the window of the Impala, when he looked he saw their Dad. He opened the door and came outside.

"Good morning" Sam said like nothing had happened

"I can see that you have found your brother. How was he?" John asked looking at the same time at the window of the car

"Dead Drunk"

John opened the door that Sam just had came from and put his hand on the horn, and pressed down three times. Dean jumped from the seat, looking everywhere. When he finally saw his Dad and brother, he calmed down a little bit

"Shit... My head hurts" He said putting on of his hands on his head

"Well, good for you" John said. Dean just ignored the commentary.

"What the hell happened?"

Before Their Dad could say anything, Sam asked

"What do you remember?"

Dean looked at him like he was trying to remember.

"I... I remember going to the bar... And having some glasses... Can't remember anything after that... Well, My body remembers having a really Good time... I... I also remember brown eyes or were they green... "

Sam just looked away before his brother saw something he didn't want to.

"Son, get yourself ready to leave. Me and Sam will be waiting for you on the motel"

"Yes sir"

"What?" What was happening here?

"Come Sam" His Dad seemed mad at something, but what?

"What's up with him?" Dean asked getting himself off the car. Sam just couldn't even look at him, he smelled like alcohol and sex, and that was the smell he hated so much, but somehow, he right now loved it.

"No idea"

"Go on before you give him an excuse to be more pissed" He said while putting a hand on Sam shoulder

"See you later Sammy" And just like that Dean's hand was no longer there.

He made a mental note that he would have to be more careful with Dean's touched, because they burned like hell.

"Yeah. Later"

His body ached like this was the goodbye from something that they never had. He walked to where his father was, never Looking back.

"Get in the damn car"

He was clearly angry with something. He got in the car, and his father was already behind the wheel. He didn't say a word, Sam wanted to ask, but he didn't say anything has Well.

The drive was fast and quiet. And only when they barked in front of the motel, his Dad spoke.

"What the hell happened?"

Sam just didn't show any emotions

"I went to the bar, I found him there, drinking. He was already too drunk so, I helped him to get in the car."

"Only that? Did you make out with someone on the way... or after?"

How the hell? Has he seen something? Shit He was damn worried, but he didn't show it. He couldn't show any sign of emotion, if he wanted to lie to John Winchester.

"No, I didn't. To tell you the truth it was the worst day in my life. I refuse to babysit him again" And yeah, that was a big lie.

His Dad seemed shocked, he just stood there staring at him.

"Where the hell did you lear do lie so well? If I didn't know, I would have believed it"

He couldn't lose this, he didn't know what his father knew, so, it was best to stay low

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you looked yourself in the mirror yet?"

Sam in a panic and quickly move looked in the rearview, and he only saw his face, there was not...

"Lower"

And then he saw it, his all neck was covered with hickeys, that he didn't realize he had

"Care to explain... And before anything Sam, there is only a person that I know that has brown eyes and green at the same time"

Fuck This was going to be a long day. 


	5. Sixteen pt2

"Care to explain... And before anything Sam, there is only a person that I know that has brown eyes and green at the same time"

Fuck This was going to be a long day.

Sam could had make up something, the problem was he was starting to panic and he really wasn't thinking straight.

His Dad was silent, but he could feel his eyes demanding an answer.

"Nothing...happened"

"What did you do? Did you take advantage of him?"

He could see his father grabbing the wheel so hard that his knuckles were white.

"What? NO"

He would never do that. Things just got a little out of control. There was a long moment before either of them spoke.

"It's the last time I ask. What the hell happened Sam?"

Before he could even think of anything he heard the sound of a car. Both of them looked out of the window, to see the Impala parking right next to them.

"Don't you dare to move" John ordered before getting out of the car and slamming the door.

He really didn't know if he should follow the order or not, but in the mean time he really couldn't move even if he wanted to.

Dean was getting off the car wail saying.

"It should be illegal to drive with a headache... Wait, is it?"

"Dean, go grab your things, we are living."

"Did you find a new gig?" He asked curious

"Now"

Dean turned serious

"Yes sir"

Before moving he looked at Sam through the glass. He wasn't talking, but Sam could hear him ask

Are you alright?

Hell no. He just answered with a smiled, Dean nodded and went inside of the motel.

John stared at him like he could kill someone. So, this was the end? In all his miserable life, he would get killed by his father... That was just fucking perfect.

In a second his father was stepping into the motel too. They could be speaking about him for all he knew. He should just leave. Yeah that was the best idea he had in a long time. But that would be just like saying he was ashamed of his own feelings... He could be a freak and a Immoral person, but he wasn't ashamed. And besides, living a life without his brother didn't seem that appealing. He was just going to wait for his own destiny.

It didn't took that long to see the both of them leaving the motel with all the bags that they owned. They were loading the trunk and the Impala. Sam felt like he should be helping, but the help wasn't going to be welcome anyway.

When his father was already close to his door, Sam door opened.

"You're lazy today aren't you? Come on Sammy no time to lose. Jump out of there, we are leaving" said Dean smiling

He was so deep in thought, that he really didn't get it at first. Then he understood, he never traveled with his father unless it was absolutely necessary. Since the first day Dean has gotten his hands on the Impala, It was always him and Dean on the road. That's why he assumed Sam was going with him. He opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly closed it when John started to speak.

"Close the damn door"

Dean wasn't looking at him, he was staring at John. Sam didn't know what to do, he was so close to this man just hours ago, and he was turned between getting out of the car to Dean's arms, or just go and fight the right to be next to him. If he chose the first, Dean could reject him and he would never be able to see him. If he chose the second he had a small, very small possibility to at least being able to stay next to his brother.

"Why?" It was rare to see Dean question his father, without being out of curiosity. It made it Sam a little bit happy to know it was because of him.

"De..." John stopped what he was going to say when he heard Sam closing the door.

"Good, let's go" He said while opening his own door.

Dean seemed a little lost. Sam was opening his window, when Dean asked

"Sam, what is happening here?"

John was already behind the wheel, starting the car, while he answered

"Just need to talk to your Brother. Get in your car and do what I told you."

"Goodbye Dean" Sam said giving him a really sad smile. And just like that John was taking the car out of the parking.

Leaving Dean standing there really worried and confused.

-000-

"Are you going to say something. Or are you just going to leave me in the middle of nowhere?"

Sam asked breaking the silence

"Shut up. I'm trying to think"

"Not making any progress are we?" John didn't answer, and that was a little scary. It was to much quietly, even for them.

They were on the road at three hours by now. Their cell phones had rung sometimes, but they didn't answer.

And then they finally saw houses again. It could be a town, but he really couldn't tell, because they weren't in the center. When he was trying to figure out where he was, the car stopped.

"Get out" Sam didn't even hesitate to do it.

And when he did, he looked around. They had stopped the car in front of a white gate, and on the wall it was written.

'Cemetery'

"I thought you had to kill me first" He was tired of this. But he really didn't like the idea of being buried alive.

"No one he's going to kill you" John said opening the gate

"Well... That's sure a relived... But it doesn't explain"

John just kept on walking. The garden was huge, and green, it was beautiful and peaceful. There were white graves everywhere.

They walked more, until John stopped in front of a grave. And when Sam read what was writing on it, he stayed very still.

"Hey Mary,, sorry for not coming has often has before. It seemed that today I wasn't able to bring you flowers... This time I brought one of the boys with me... I really don't know where I failed..."

Sam wanted to speak, this was the first time Dad had brought him here, and he really didn't think it was the best moment for this. He turned around to stare at him

"Now tell me. What did you do to him?" He was getting sick of the question

"I don't get it... He was the one drunk, why the hell do you automatically blame me?"

"Your brother would never do anything that you wouldn't want. And you took advantaged of that and tried to... raped him."

"GOD, I didn't rape him... Things just happened." John stepped closer to him.

"So, something really happened"

"Yeah, but you already knew that, didn't you?" Sam answer with clear despise.

"Do you know why I brought you here?" He didn't know, but he didn't want to.

"No"

"I brought you here to apologize to your mother. So, now, Apologies."

"What?"

If his father at told him to apologize to Dean, he would have understood, but this didn't make any sense at all for him.

"Apologize for being a bad son. For your sins, for being a fagot who wants to fuck is brother"

"I... I WON'T"

"How dare you? This is the least you can do for her. If it wasn't for Mary you would never be here in the first place."

He alrady knew this.

"Her fault, not mine. I didn't ask to be saved, she was the one who made that decision. Not me"

John stepped in his space and grabbed him by the shirt

"You're damn ungrateful. She died burning on the ceiling, and it was all your damn fault. And now you can't even apologies for screwing everything up"

His father never had said this out loud, but in his head it was obvious that he blames him.

Screwing up, what? In my point of view, no one is suffering from this. Dean doesn't remember, and I'm not planing on screaming on the streets My feeling for him. So, I really don't see the problem here... You are the one who he's making a big fuss for nothing."

John's eyes were on fire.

"What feeling?"

Like always, he had said to much

"You're all the same, you don't give a fucking damn about them. So, why the hell should I tell you anything at all?"

"When I ask you something, you better damn answer it."

"Yea Dad, I have feelings for your older son... Happy?"

John grabbed him more putting him up and then pushing him away from him. He almost fell, but managed not to, damn him if he had felt on the ground

"You are no longer my son... Did I let you hit with your head when you were a kid? Listen to me Sam, you are not saying anything to your brother about this ridiculous attraction"

Well he wasn't planning on it, but what did he dad had do to with anything?

"Go to hell... This is only my business, if I decide to tell him is up to me, and if I do then it's my business and his, you and Bobby have no saying one this"

"You ar... What? Bobby? Bobby knows about this?"

Sam forced a laugh

"For a while now"

"You couldn't embarrassed me more than this, could you? You're good for nothing"

He could say a million words and his father wouldn't get it

"Don't you dare to turn your back on me" He wasn't even walking yet

"I won't be here hearing your bullshit and wait for you to drive me insane"

And there it came, a slapped with the back of his father's hand, so hard that made his face turn.

"If I tell you to. You will."

"What do you want for me?"

For now he was just going to ignore the pain

"Stop having... whatever it is for your brother. Realize your mistakes, and apologies do your mother for all the wrong you have done. Apologize for being the son that no one wishes for."

That would be simple.

"Who the fuck died and made you god? I don't have to listen to you, and I really don't have to do what you tell me to."

He really wasn't that surprised when he felt the two punches on his face.

"You ask for it"

Didn't he always ask for it? He spited the blood to the green grass. He refused to be the victim this time. He wasn't going down.

And for the very first time he punched his father with all the strength he had. He knew he was going to pay for it later. But it was worth it every second, to see the shocked in his father face when he found out his younger son and broken his nose. There was no way he would win a fight with his Dad. But he could try.

Fists were flying, he barely could touch his father, he was receiving more than giving, if he was even giving at all. When John kicked him on the leg, he couldn't balance himself and he was falling and hitting with his head on his mother grave. It seemed his mother wasn't on his side.

This was ridiculous. They were fighting in a cemetery on a beautiful day.

Is head was killing him, and his vision was starting to blur, but he wasn't going to think of that. He pushed himself from the ground, and he was already standing, when his father begun again to hit him, this time the only thing he could do was defending, it was like his father was possessed. He wasn't falling, he wouldn't fall again. And if he did he would rise once more.

His head was bleeding, his all body was screaming. And when his father gave him another punch with more strange, he knew he had displaced his left arm.

Then John stopped

"Say it"

"No"

"You are a selfish little one...You just don't know when it's time to back away, do you?"

He didn't understand, why did they keep on calling him selfish?

"Just leave me the fuck alone... All of you" He was more frustrated and angry that he had realized

"Do you think I'm unreasonable? This wouldn't happen if you would have done what I told you in the first place... GO, you're a waste of time, go back to the car... And don't you ever dare to put a foot in this place ever again. Your mother had seen enough already."

"My pleasure"

And he walked out of the cemetery. Leaving his father talking to his dead mother. He would have walked faster, or even run but his body wasn't letting him, And he was starting to hate is body has well.

When he was out of the gate he went to the car that was left open, and he cursed when he realized that his bag was still on The Impala. So he took a gun from the car and hide it on is back. Then he just kept on walking. He wasn't going to stay there and wait.

He Walked and walked, and he really didn't know how was he doing it. He had his right hand holding his left arm, it seemed that his arm was only there for him to remember that it wasn't that easy to forget about the pain. He walked so much that his body become numb.

At least he wasn't seeing his father trunk, yet.

When he was walking he found out a little sand road on the side of the main road, and he chose to walk on it. There were trees everywhere, and he walked until he couldn't take a step anymore. And then he fell to the ground. He crawled next to a tree, to sit and rest his Back on it.

"Shit... Shit, Shit...SHIT" He was yelling and screaming and he didn't know why. He was tired and he hadn't slept in hours.

Bobby hated him. His father said he wasn't no long his son, so, he hated him as well. Apparently his mother hated him too. So, now there was only Dean, the one who didn't knew. The only person that didn't hate him was the only who didn't have a clue about what was happening.

And if he did? Would he hate him too?

"Dean I just..."

"Don't you dare touch me... Dad his right you are a fucking fagot... And Bobby, Bobby was right about everything, you are a freak. You are an aberration Sam... Why don't you go and Die. You would do us all a big favor"

Yeah, he could only imagine what was going to be like.

And he finally said the words, the words his Dad so desperately wanted to hear, he said it, but not to his mother.

"I'm sorry Dean... I'm sorry to be who I am... I'm sorry to be selfish... I'm sorry to have been born... But I'm NOT fucking sorry for loving you"

He could run, had his life would be miserable, he could stay and it would be hell. He didn't notice when his tears started to come from his eyes, but he had made a decision.

He took the gun that he had on his back. Dean would never forgive him after this, but then he wouldn't be here to see it. Where was he going? Heaven? He doubt it... Hell? Maybe... He was trying to believed there was nothing after this life, that would be what he wanted, not being able to think, feel, hear and see. It would be great if he just became dust.

He put the gun in his mouth, wail his tears were running along with the blood he had on his face. He could taste the iron of the gun in his mouth. The gun that killed monsters and demons was now going to kill him. He was thinking of Dean crying when he found his body, saying beautiful words to him. Then the reality came to him in a rush and he could hear his brother in his head saying

"Just do it. See if I care" 


	6. Sixteen p3

RING RING

Sam was ready to pull the trigger, when he jumped from hearing the sound, it seemed more loud because of the silence and the tension he was in. When he realized that it was just his cell phone in his pocket he tries do ignored it.

He closed his eyes to have the courage he needed again.

RING RING

"Fuck"

He took the gun from his mouth and but it next to him to be able to take his phone off the bucket. He was ready to throw the phone into a tree and go back to what he was doing.

Once with his phone in his right hand, he put his hand in the air, already making the move to just throw and break the damn thing

RING RING

His hand stoped in middle air. Before he notices, he was looking at the screen.

Dean

Great, for all the people, Dean was calling him.

He was feeling pain all over, emotional and physical. It was hard for him to think strait, so, he didn't know what was he supposed to do in a moment like this. He was trying to stop all of this seconds ago, and it seemed Dean was trying to delay it, to make him live in more pain, even if it was just for mere seconds.

He let the phone ring for a wail, he was staring so hard at the screen that he could no longer focus on any other thing.

Maybe he just was going to say what Sam already knew. There was no point in taking a call that you already knew what was about.

He could swear the ring was starting to be more and more louder.

"Damn it" His voice no longer seemed his.

He grabbed the phone and pressed the green button. Dean deserved at least being able to yell at him before he could go, he would be mad if he had left him without the change to say what he wanted. Well, at least this what he wanted to believed to be the reason for him to pick up... Becuse, Hell, he really wanted to hear his brother voice for the last time.

"Sam?... Sammy are you there?"

He let a sigh escape him. It seemed that years had passed since what had happened with him and his brother last night, and at the same time he could remember everything too clearly. He didn't have the strength to do this, maybe he really didn't have to answer. He could just hear him. This was a bad idea from the beginning.

"Sam? Are you there? ... Damn it, answer me..." Dean seemed angry, Sam could say that there was something more, but he couldn't put a finger on it.

Sam didn't answer. His back was killing him, so he moved a little, only to hit with his bad arm on the tree, he must have made some kind of noise, because Dean started to talk with a panicked tone.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did something attacked you? Is it still there? Can you move? Can you talk?... Sammy are you alright?"

The questions were asked in a rush. Sam really tried to pay attention to them but he only heard one. And that was the last one, he could tell by that question that his brother was worried, he almost seemed desperate, whatever it was Sam felt a warm run in his cold body.

"Calm down" It sounded funny even to his ears, he was telling Dean this when he was the one who was panicking minutes ago. He was trying to say that everything would be alright. That he didn't need to panic. But his voice was betraying him, and it was rough from the pain and the yelling, and he souded everything but alright.

There was no answer for a while and Sam could hear the hard breathing on the other line. Or was his own?

"I won't calm down...Damn it Sammy, you scared the crap out of me... " He could hear Dean getting out of the car.

"Couldn't you have chosen a road where cars could actually fit in?"

What? No way

"W...Where are you?"

"That's my question...Hell, what were you and dad doing in this Town any way?... Sorry for that, questions later... Now where are you? Once I found you I will send fire to all this damn trees...I can't Fucking see you."

Dean was here. Feets away, should he run? Yeah right, he couldn't even walk. He could just finish the job.

"SAM... SAMMY..."

Dean was shouting right in his ear, he had to took the phone away a little.

"Jerk... I can hear you" It was like he had something in his throat

"Well, sorry... Can you just repeat that a little louder for me to know where you are? I fell like I'm searching for Scooby-Doo here" he was trying to be funny, but he just failed miserably, it sounds more like he was ready to beg

"SAM...SSAAAMMM"

This time Dean must have put his phone far away from him, because he could hear Dean yelling close to where he was, but he couldn't hear it on the phone.

He could try to shout, but he was having trouble just talking to Dean, he really doubt it that he could just do it.

"Just...Come on Sammy, please help me here... Just try...ok? please" Well, there it was, Dean was begging

Fuck this, Fuck the worl, the demons, the people, Fuck the fucking life

And in the middle of the trees and the silence Sam did it

BANG

The sound broke the silence and birds that didn't seem to exist went flying away from it. Dean turns away so fast that it was almost comical. He was staring at the place where the shot came from. And he felt numb, it was like he was glued to the floor. It didn't take more then seconds for him to come back to the reality.

"No,no,nononononono, NO, SAM..." He was running even before he realizes it. He almost felt two times in a row but he didn't stop.

When he reaches the place he thought the shot had come from, only then he stopped. He was staring had the trees in front of him. Searching like his life depended on it.

"Dean... I'm here" It was a small whisper, but Dean must have heard it because he was turning and watching him with wide eyes.

"Don't you ever do that again" He sounded pissed, but Sam could see that Dean's eyes were moist. But, he was sure that he looked worse. He forced a little smile and said.

"Well, it worked. Didn't it?" He didn't know if he had heard him because he didn't answer.

Dean was suddenly kneeling in front of him with his two hands on his face. He didn't sound pissed anymore, he seemed like he was trying not to break apart in front of his little brother.

"Oh God... It seems like you have been hit by a trunk..." He smiled but it didn't really reach his eyes

"Come on... Lets get you out of here... Sam. SAMMY, DON'T YOU DARE to fall asleep" He was tired like hell, and his brother comfort made him more tired.

"Shut up... It has past more than twenty eight hours since I have slept.. I'm tired"

Sam was already seeing things, because he could swear he had seen Dean blushing a bit.

"Don't. You can only rest after we see what's wrong with you... Do you hear me? For all we know you can have a damn concussion"

"I survive" Well, that was the last thing he thought he was going to say to Dean.

"Can you stand? ... Lets pretend I didn't ask that ok?"

Dean moved a little to be able to hold all the weight of him, and pulled him out of the ground.

"Argh"

"Did I hurt you?" Dean was feeling like a damn idiot, asking obvious questions.

"It's the damn arm" Dean looked at his arm, and suddenly he was walking with Sam in his arms, to where he knew the Impala would be.

"I'm... I'm sorry Sammy"

"Not your fault" Sam said with his head resting on Dean chest

"Yeah... actually it fucking is... I never... Sorry"

"How?" There was no way it would be Dean's fault

He couldn't see Dean's face that well, but he could feel his brother body tensing up.

"You know? You're more heavy than you look... You don't really have the age to be being carried around"

He laughed, but it was so empty that it hurts.

Dean was changing the object. Sam wanted to ask more, but the exhaustion was winning him over, and the last thing he heard was Dean calling for him.

-000-

When Sam woke up he was in a new motel in a bed. The first thing he notices was that his arm was wrapped in something. The second was Dean laying a sleep next to him in the same bed. And finally the third, was his father stating in front of the bed looking at them with eyes of disgust. He looked at his father and he noticed, he was really in a bad state. He knew he didn't had done that much, so it was obvious some one had beat the crap out of him when he was away.

He tried to sit down without waking Dean, and when he finally did, he was going to speak when his father beat him to it

"First of all, you are not allowed to speak of what happened in this few days ever again. Second, you will not ask what happen when you were out? Understood? If you do, you will never see your brother again"

There was a moment of silence. Hell he really didn't need this. Damn it, he was a really coward for not being able to kill himself back then.

Suddenly his brother moved next to him, he looked at Sam and smiled. It was then that Sam really saw him. He had his face all beaten up, and had a scar on his chin. He didn't have to be smart to realize that Dean and John had bit the crap of each other. The question was more like, why?

Dean stopped looking at him and just stared at John. It was like they were fighting right in front of Sam without even moving.

"Sam, are we clear?"

"Yes sir"

John was satisfied with the answer so he nodded and looked at Dean again

"Don't you dare do to anything"

"Yes sir"

This time was Dean who said it. And just like that John left the motel leaving the two of them alone.

Dean was starting to leave the bed, when Sam grabbed his arm.

"How did you find me?" He wasn't even staring at Sam, he was just looking into the wall.

"I tracked Dad phone... When I found him alone, I was so worried...Then I realized I could do the same with yours. So I did"

He pulled away from Sam touch and sited on the edge of the bed with his back to Sam.

"Are you alright?"

"Always" Dean was already standing up.

"Dean look at me" And Dean did

"What to you want Sam?" And Sam couldn't answered, Dean looked more hurt than he should.

"Are you alright?" He asked again.

Sam was there sitting on the bed, more hurt then Dean and John, and yet he was asking if Dean was alright. That broke Dean's heart.

"No, Sammy. I'm not alright" And that was the first time he really saw tears coming out of Dean's eyes

"Come here" Dean seemed shocked. He tried to wipe his tears while he said

"No way"

Sam knew his brother, he didn't like to show his weakness. So, he did what he felt the need to do. He put his legs out of the bed, ignoring the screams of pain in his head and body. He was ready to stand up when his brother came to his side.

"What the hell. You aren't supposed to get up yet, you need to rest."

Dean was trying to make sure he didn't get up, when Sam hugged him

"It's alright Dean... We survive..." It was good if he could convince himself to

"Damn you Sammy..." Dean hugged his brother has hard has he could without hurting him. And for the first time he cried in front of Sam.

And that was it. They never talked about it again.

Before he knew it he was already seventeen years old. And he received a letter that really change his life upside down. 


	7. Seventeen

Sam seventeen

His father never looked at him in the same way. It was like he didn't deserve the title of being called his son. Since the big fight they never fight again, but that didn't mean anything, because they argued almost everyday, and Dean was always the one to calm things down.

Sam was a little sorry, because he knew how much respect Dean had for their father, how much of a hero he was. He just couldn't see the Same man Dean saw. But he was always there trying to make everything better again. Like his job was to make Sam and John to be best friends... That was just impossible.

His father just didn't love him anymore. Any one could see that. The only thing he saw in the old man's eyes was hate, disappointment and Disgust. Looks he already new to well and grow up to ignore. The only time he felt happy again was when he was alone with Dean, of course They didn't do anything, but the fact that his brother cared about him, even if it was just in a brotherly way, made him happy enough to Last at least another 17 years. The problem was their father had made sure that they weren't together has much has they were before.

Sam didn't care, because at least he could still be alone in the Impala with Dean when they were traveling, and they traveled a lot. It was Like he had finally understood why his brother love his car so much. He knew he would never love the car has much has Dean did. But he Love it, because it was now the home he never had, the home he could come back to, the place where he could see his brother.

And this was Everything for him. He just didn't dream of a better future, he didn't even regret the things he had done in the past anymore. He knew that This was it, it would always be like this, Demons, hunts, pain and hurt, and the only happiness... his brother. He was born to live like this And that wouldn't change. It couldn't get better, but it always could get worse. That was what he believed.

So, when he received a letter directed to him, he shouldn't have been that surprised. And yet, his all world was falling apart right in front of Him.

It was a day like all the other, they were staying in a house for almost three weeks now, they had been hunting a werewolf that was in the Area. He didn't understand why they were staying when they had already finished the job, but staying in the same place for a long time was a thing that Sam never complained about.

Dean was out, doing hell knows what, and his dad was doing some kind of research about the demon in his own room. Sam was in the kitchen Studying when he heard the doorbell. He didn't know who could be, but it sure wasn't good news. He left the kitchen to go to the front door. Dean had the keys, so it couldn't be him, because he never forgot about them. Maybe it was the neighbors to ask for something, or a demon to kill them all, or worse, it could be the cops. In any case, Sam was on alert.

When he finally opened the door, he saw the last think he expected, he saw the mailman. Well, that was unusual.

"Can I help you?" The man sure had come to the wrong address. They didn't get mail, who would even send them mail in the first place.

"I have a letter for Samuel Winchester" Said the man reading the name that was on the letter.

A letter for him? Now that was strange

"That would be me" He said.

The man looked at him

"So, you want it or not?"

The man said when he saw that Sam wasn't reaching for the letter that he was trying to deliver.

"Oh... Sorry, thanks" He said taking the letter from the man's hand. Then the mailman just left without saying one more word.

He closed the door, and went back to the kitchen. He looked at the envelope like he was trying to read it without even opening it.

There was a logo on the left of the envelope that said RCP in blue letters. That was it, it wasn't from a person, it was from some company Or something. Maybe it was from the bank, that made sense,but it didn't make him more relieved. He was sure he never had used his real Name in any circumstance, and besides he never had heard a bank called RCP. Well, He wouldn't find out if he just stood there, would he?

Making up his mind, he sited where he was minutes ago and opened the letter.

Taking out the paper that was inside, he noticed that there were two more sheets. He unfolds them, and started to read the first one.

His all body went numb and he could almost swear that his blood had stopped. He couldn't believe in what he was reading. So, he read it again.

Dear Samuel Winchester:

Congratulation! I'm pleased, on behalf of the Richered Center Facility, to announce the acceptance of your application.

This is to certify that our campus have accepted Samuel Campbell Winchester for Treatment at our Facility.

After careful review your full information, we assure you that you can be cured. By being admitted into the program, you agree to follow the The treatment that we will give you, that will be consisted of medication, rehabilitation, therapy and others.

We look forward to seeing you Samuel, and we hope for the best success with the treatment. If you have any further questions concerning the Facility, please feel free to come by the office with any problems you may have.

Sincerely,

Victor S. Davis

What the Hell...

Accept where? He could be cured? He wasn't sick. And he was damn sure he didn't had applied to any where. The letter just didn't make any Sense, so he read it again and again.

Realizing that the letter didn't make more sense just by reading it over and over again, he remembered that there was more two pieces of paper he had still to read. Cursing at his own stupidity he read the next ones.

Now he knew what it was all about, but that didn't make him happier, quite the contrary.

The papers told him how much it would cost to stay at the facility, how would they treat him. It explained what it was and how they worked.

So here he was in the kitchen, reading a letter that told him, that he had been accepted to a facility who could cure homosexual men, and For him not to worry, because it wasn't his fault for being sick, and they were here to save people like him... So basically he was going to Be interned on this camp for three all year... And that was if everything went well. Because he would only be able to leave if he was cured. But then again the piece of paper said, not to worry because each person had their form to deal with this and everyone took their time.

He wanted to throw up. He was feeling sick just be reading the fucking letter. He wasn't going, they were treating him like he had a mental Issues and this had been just the latter, he couldn't even imagine how would it be there. And he didn't want to find out.

Instead of yelling and punching he started to laugh. And his laughter was hysterical, he laughed and laughed until his lungs were hurting.

"What the hell Sam? I can't concentrate if you don't shut up. I can hear you from upstairs"

Sam saw John on the door of the kitchen looking at him angry. And he just laughed more. His father was the one who has put him on this. He Was sure of it. So his own dad thought he had a disease.

"What are you laughing about?"

John didn't lose his angry, but now he was just confused. Sam stoped laughing so quickly that it seemed he had never started. He stared at what he had used to call Dad and he said

"Richards Center Facility? This must be a fucking joke"

"Watch your language" He said ignoring what Sam had just said

Sam was starting to be furious. He jumped out of the chair letting it fall on the ground

"The least of my problems right now. So, Dad when were you going to tell me? Wouldn't it be easier just to tell me to leave?"

"Calm down Sam. This his for the best. You need this treatment"

"What the... Are you insane? I don't need any of this shit"

"I thought after you read about them that you would understand... You have a problem, you are not normal, but you can be cure son. This can Help you. Do this for me, for Dean"

He couldn't believe his own ears. Was he even hearing himself? Did he believe in what he was saying?

He took a few steps until he was face to face with his dad.

"I'm Leaving... I'm fucking leaving this kind of life... Hell this shouldn't even be called life. I HATE ALL OF THIS. I'm done trying to follow your orders, I'm done here... But I'm not doing what you want me to do. And I will take Dean with me... And you can just go to hell"

He was standing right in front of John's face and the man was so red that he looked like he was about to explode. When he was about to hear John yelling back at him he heard someone else instead

"I'm not going with you anywhere Sam"

They were so got up on the moment that they didn't hear Dean entering the house. He entered the kitchen trying not to look lost and Sad, but Sam could see it all too well.

He had already taken two steps away from his Dad to be able to see Dean clearly.

"Dean I..." He started, but he was interrupted by his brother.

"Just... This just comes from nowhere... Why didn't you tell me? Hell, We could have talked about it. Why haven't you told me?"

He could see the betrayed on his brother's face. And that hurt more than anything.

"You are not leaving. You're not going anywhere that I don't want you to. And you are going to do exactly what I say"

He heard John voice full of anger, but he didn't look at him, he was just staring at Dean. Dean was staring right back at him, Stanting There like he was the one Sam was leaving behind.

"Come with me" Sam asked has if he just wanted Dean to hear it. And he knew he sounded desperate and hopeful, but he didn't seem to care When it came down to Dean.

Dean seemed a bit surprised, but then he asked

"This is my life Sammy, This is me... Why can't you stay instead?" Neither one of them dare to move. It was like they couldn't.

If he stayed he had to go to the Facility. In the end he wouldn't be here with Dean. If he left he had more chances to see him than if he stayed. And if Dean went with him, that would be everything that Sam never dared to wish for.

"It doesn't matter Dean. It doesn't matter what I choose. In the end I'm leaving thru that Door"

"It seems you have already made your mind" Dean tone was hard and bitter

"Damn it Dean you don't understand it's not..." He was trying to explain himself when his dad spoke

"Enough of this. You are not going to abandoned your family" And any one could see that this was an order

Sam stared at his father and then back at Dean. He was begging, he knew it. He wasn't saying anything, but he knew that his own face was Begging for Dean to come with him, to stop his father from sending him away, for Dean to save him from everything.

"Don't you even dare" And that was the hard replay he got from Dean.

For a second he was surprised, but how could he even had asked that of Dean? Well, he was ready, it was now or never. He walked to the door of the kitchen, walking by Dean and his Dad, and without looking back he said.

"Watch me"

And he went upstairs to pack up his things, leaving Dean and John alone. He knew that at any other time John would have come after him Arguing, but John also wanted him to pack, and Sam was sure that that was the reason that John wasn't already in his bedroom making a fuss. The difference was he wasn't packing to go where the old man wanted, he was leaving.

When he was done he came back to the kitchen. John was leaning on the sink with his back turned to him, and Dean was sitting in one Chair. He quickly looked at the table in panic, but the latter wasn't there anymore.

"Dean"

His brother didn't look, he just kept on staring at the ground like the damn thing was the one at fault for all of this

"Dean can you drive me to the bus station"

And this made a reaction. Dean finally stared at him. Both of them knew the station wasn't far and that Sam could walk if he wanted to. But He asked Dean all the same, because he wanted to say his goodbye, and his brother must have got it, because he stood up from the chair.

"Where are you going?" John finally said turning around with a face that made him look thirty years older than he was

The question was directed to Sam, and he knew it was a tricky question.

"Not where you want me to"

That was enough for John to understand. John walked until he was close to Sam and grabbed him by the shirt

"Are you giving up?"

"I never give up. You are the ones who gave up on me"

"Son of a... If you go, you are dead to me"

"Didn't you already tell me that once?"

That wasn't a question. John walked away from Sam letting him go, and he said in a voice that neither Dean or Sam had heard in their entire lives

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back"

The tension of the room couldn't get worse. It was hard to breath. He then nodded and left the house closing the door behind him.

He looked at the impala, and he could remember all the happiness he had shared in that car with his brother. When he started walking he heard the door of the house opening and closing.

"Sam Wait... I... I give you a ride"

He turned around to see Dean already nest to the Impala staring at him waiting for him to say something. He just smiles and went to the other side of the car.

Dean was driving very slowly, Like he was trying to make to the station tomorrow and not today. They were silent for a long time. Dean was The first one to speak

"What did you mean by You are the ones who gave up on me? Did I do something?" He asked without taking his eyes off the Road

"No. Not you"

This wasn't the answer his brother wanted, but he wouldn't say more. It must have shown because his brother didn't ask more about it. He just couldn't say to Dean that their Mother and father, Bobby and half of the world had given up on him.

After some more silence Dean spoke again

"Congratulation" If it had been sarcastically Sam wouldn't have been surprised, but it was sincere.

"What for?"

Finally Dean looked at him

"For being accepted on the camp" Now Sam was looking at him with eyes wide open

"You Knew?"

"If you had told me I would have known sooner... I found out today" He said looking again at the road

John at told him? That couldn't be. Dean would be more shocked wouldn't he?

"Sammy... I don't want you to go. But maybe it's for the best. If you hated so much this life, maybe it's best for you to go to the camp and live a normal life"

Dean knew this and he was saying Sam should go. Was he that much of a freak. Did he really have a a mental problem? He new homosexuality wasn't a disease... But that didn't mean he was normal. Did Dean know his feelings for him. Maybe that was why he was sending him away to the Facility. He was lost in his thoughts when the car stopped a few feets away from the station.

"You should go. You should fight for a better future. Maybe even finding yourself a good looking woman" Dean said that staring at him with a sad Smile

So, it was true. His brother knew. And he wanted him to go.

What Sam didn't realize was that they were both talking about different thing. What he didn't see was how Dean was trying everything not To break in front of him. And he failed to notice the love in his brother's eyes, because he also was too broken at the moment.

"Yeah, sorry" He said in a whisper

They both saw the bus at the end of the road arriving. They looked at each other, and Dean said

"So, see you around?" It was just too hard to say goodbye

He was sure he would never stop having feelings for his brother even if he went to the camp, He would never find a woman or man who could Replace Dean. And he knew this was the last change he had. So, he took it.

He put his hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulled him into a kiss.

It was slow and tender, and when he was ready to stoped, Dean reached fot him wail opening his mouth to deep the kiss. And Sam just couldn't think anymore. He could feel Dean's hand resting on his arm, he could feel Dean's tongue with his. And he could feel how right this was. Suddenly The kiss tasted salty, and he realized it was his own tears he was tasting. Why did he always cry so much? Dean pulled away slowly and Sam quickly gave him another kiss that left him breathless making Dean putting his hand also in Sam neck. When they broken the kiss, Sam rested his forehead on Dean's own.

"I Love you so fucking much" Sam said in a rusty voice wail his tears ran freely on his face

Dean put his hand on Sam chest to pull him away enough to be able to see him

"What?" He was more than just confused

"I'm not sorry Dean" He said with a low voice.

Giving him another kiss, but this time just pressing their lips together. And Just like that he left the car with his bag.

"Wait" Dean said in a whisper, trying to understand.

But Sam didn't hear it, because he was running to the bus that was already leaving without him.

Dean got out of the car has soon he realized he had to do something fast

"WAIT" Dean yelled this time

But Sam was already inside of the bus that had stooped on purpose for him. And because of it he had failed to see the tear that fell from Dean's eyes

"SAM" He yelled.

When the bus could no longer be seen he fell to his knees realizing that this was His little brother's decision. Not his. 


End file.
